ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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