I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
