Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
babies were throwing up all over the place
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
3 2 1 whiskey
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
