Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
