This is not my ceiling
Need sex. Gaining weight.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
this hospital has no fireball
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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