it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
