Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
