so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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