we're blogging at a bar
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
