I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Randomize
