on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
