Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
