I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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