I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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