Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
