Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
