She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
