you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
