I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize