I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
