no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
