Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
