yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
