If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
