we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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