she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
