And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
