i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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