I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize