it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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