That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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