You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
NoShamevember. You game?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
