no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
