Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Alive.
So much puke
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize