Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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