Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You are the jesus of drinking
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
