i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
