Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
