Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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