i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
His nipple licking is glorious
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