every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
