You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
