That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He better not be in your backpack
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
