Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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