from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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