and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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