I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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