a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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