She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
