bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So squirting runs in the family.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
