You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
