you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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