What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
