Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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