She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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